A Two-edged Sword (a brief Valentine's reflection by Steve Orr)
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
The Bible says the word of the Lord is sharper than any two-edged sword. When I was in college, something happened that gave me a very real and personal understanding of just what those two edges could do. That was when the Proverbs passage above led to the end of one relationship and to the beginning of another.
When I was a Junior I started asking out, and was soon dating exclusively, a beautiful young woman who was also smart and sweet. And while she seemed a bit shier than those I had previously dated, I really enjoyed going out with her. And, as these things happen, we became a couple.
One day, my girlfriend gave me a block of wood decorated with that passage from Proverbs. This oblong piece of wood was about a half inch thick at it's thickest, tapering to an edge, all round, that was maybe an eighth of an inch. I would guess it was about six inches in length and maybe four in width. All of that is a guess from a long ago memory. What I know for sure is this: its message really struck me. Strange as it may seem to some, that was the first time I had ever seen it. At that point, I had been attending church and Sunday School for a couple decades. How was it that something so fundamental to our relationship with God had never before come to my attention? You would think I might have, at the very least, heard it in a sermon.
The impact those two verses had on my life was profound. I thought about that scripture quite a lot. Its message worked its way into my every decision from that point forward, including, maybe most especially, my relationships. I started praying about which courses I would take, which professors I would follow, which church I would attend. I found myself thinking about my friendships in light of that scripture, and about the people who were being influences in my life, and about those I was influencing.
Some changes came about as a result. I stopped some pursuits and processes, and I ended some relationships (quietly, without fanfare; I just stopped spending time with some people). I strongly doubt anyone knew about this. It was a very private process for me. On the other hand, I continued many, but with a different perspective, a different set of reasons for extending my involvement.
Looking back from the perspective of a few decades, I now see that it was inevitable I would eventually bring my love life before the Lord, as well. Consequently, as I pondered a possible future with my girlfriend, I came to realize that, however good my intentions had been, I had not sought God's guidance when I entered into that relationship. I agonized over this for many weeks, but in the end could find no way to continue. I knew it would hurt her, but I also came to know it had to end. Finally, with great reluctance, I broke up with her.
I was not happy, but I was committed to trying to approach my relationships a different way, a prayerful way. I plunged into work and school, immersing myself so I would not dwell on the hurt I had caused; telling myself it was for the best, and trying to trust God that this would somehow lead to good for both of us.
Two months went by; which, in college time, with all it's activity, can seem like decades. Then one day, I met a woman by whom I was truly smitten. This time, though, I spent much time in prayer before proceeding; not wanting to jump forward into a relationship based solely on my own desires. To borrow from another piece of scripture, I watched and prayed. Eventually I asked her out.
So what happened? The woman I broke with met a wonderful man, a man who matches her love of the Lord. They have children and grandchildren, and a great life together; all of which may not have happened had I insisted on having my own way all those years ago.
And the woman I asked out a few months later?
We recently celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary.
Great scripture!
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