In a time when caution should be the watchword, a time when staying apart is the only option for many, a time when communication is usually not face-to-face, how do we care for others?
In the past, active caring meant being physically present. We visited the sick and those imprisoned. We actually went to the homes of shut-ins. We lifted, bathed, fed, dressed, and generally assisted those who could not do for themselves.
We were hands-on.
Today many, for whom we were once present, are alone. True, there is a difference between "alone" and "lonely," but the difference is not quantitative. When we say someone is alone, we mean a person is by themselves. Lonely, though, has no numerical limit. Sometimes we want to be alone; it's a choice. Sometimes we experience unplanned aloneness, but that is not necessarily unpleasant. Some of us enjoy our alone times, even if they happen upon us randomly.
Lonely, on the other hand, is not good. We need interaction with others, to one degree or another, and we have had that need from the very beginning.
“One” really can be the loneliest number.
Stephen Covey gets at this in his book, First Things First. He suggests there are certain things we need in life: "to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy." All four are worth our time to explore, but let’s focus on "to love." It’s all about our need to relate to others —to love and be loved. One interesting aspect of this: it doesn’t come pre-loaded with a sense of urgency. In fact, unless we intentionally cultivate it, we tend to not have it. “To love” awaits our desire to elevate it to true importance in our lives.
And that brings us to this weeks Psalm 68 selection. It asserts that God "sets the lonely in families." This passage carries a sense of restoration; of being placed among those who care about our wellbeing; of, finally, coming home.
What does that mean for us, today, as we continue to grapple with separation, social distancing, face masks, latex gloves, and lockdowns? God knows our needs ... all of them. We are made in His image; how could He not know? And he offers to meet those needs. But how God meets our needs is almost never through some miraculous agency. No, it’s almost always through the good actions of other people in our lives.
There’s two directions to this. One direction is how we “reach out” to those in need when we cannot, physically, be present with them. It may seem obvious, but let’s say it: do what you can. Phone them, write them, message them ... and don’t do it just once. Make a habit of it. They need our connection, even if we can’t join them or touch them.
The other direction? Are you lonely? Take an inventory. Look about at all those people who used to surround you every day. You know the ones: maybe in the past they got on your nerves, stood too close, talked over you; maybe they forgot to return your stuff; maybe they were the ones who lived for the drama; but maybe you also noticed that they meant well. Sometimes they hugged you even when you didn’t want to be touched, and they often showed up uninvited (but also came when you were ill or in need). Sometimes they were needy. And let's face it, their choices baffle you, including the one where they chose to hang around you.
They're also the people who were consistently present in your life. Or, to look at it another way: they are the ones who choose you.
Congratulations. God has already placed you in a family. Allow yourself to see them for the gift they are. Reach out and connect (even if it’s not in person) ... and enjoy.
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Portions of this reflection are borrowed from a June, 2014 entry titled “Live, Love, Learn, Leave A Legacy.”
PHOTO: Steve Orr
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READINGS FOR THE COMING WEEK
CLICK HERE or copy and paste—> https://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu//lections.php?year=A&season=Easter
Seventh Sunday of Easter (May 24, 2020)
Acts 1:6-14
Psalm 68:1-10, 32-35
1 Peter 4:12-14; 5:6-11
John 17:1-11
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DaySpring’s Lectionary Breakfast is still on hiatus. Here are the coming week’s scriptures for Sunday, May 24th (Seventh Sunday of Easter), as well as a reflection.
Blessings,
Steve
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